Expense Avoidance Techniques

Here are some expertly crafted techniques for avoiding expenses, as recommended by the Ministry of Fiscal Responsibility (MOFR).

Technique 1: The Art of Creative Accounting

By redefining the definition of "spending" and "income," you can create a universe where expenses are merely " investments in your future." Example: Turn a $100 dinner into a "research and development" expense by claiming it was for "researching" the art of cooking.

Technique 2: The Science of Procrastination

By dedicating an inordinate amount of time to planning and researching, you can avoid actual work and thereby "save" time. Example: Spend 3 hours researching a project that could have been done in 30 minutes, thereby avoiding the "cost" of actually doing it.

Technique 3: The Art of Expense Reassignment

By reassigning expenses to someone else, you can avoid taking responsibility for them. Example: Shift the cost of a broken printer to the IT department, thereby ensuring that someone else is responsible for its repair.

Technique 4: The Power of Wishful Thinking

By pretending that something will magically happen, you can avoid actual expenses. Example: Assume that a project will be completed on time and within budget, thereby avoiding the need for actual planning and resource allocation.

Technique 5: The Art of Expense Denial

By denying the existence of expenses, you can avoid dealing with them. Example: Claim that a $10,000 bill is actually a "donation" to a charity.