Warning: The department has been experiencing a severe crisis in leadership, morale, and general competence. All employees are advised to seek shelter in the nearest break room.
We are currently experiencing a 100% failure rate in all our endeavors, including but not limited to:
- Project Management: 100% of projects are late, over budget, or have been scrapped entirely.
- Communication: 99% of all emails are unanswered, 1% are responded to with incorrect answers.
- Coffee Machine Repair: The coffee machine has been broken for 6 months, and all employees are considering unionizing.
Read our official press release, in which we deny all allegations and blame our contractors.
Meet our management team, who are not at all responsible for the current state of affairs.