Sentence Bling, Senator of Silliness

I am Senator Bling, the greatest leader this land of absurdity has ever seen. My platform is built on a foundation of unquestionable authority and a commitment to being right about everything.

My constituents love me, and my opponents fear me. They know that when they cross me, I will unleash my Bling-Bling-Bling of doom upon them.

But don't just take my word for it. Check out my credentials, which include: - A degree in Extreme Procrastination from University of Nowheresville - A certification in Sarcasm and Silliness from the Academy of Sassy Arts - A Ph.D. in Being Right (with a minor in Being Wrong)

So if you want to be a senator like me, just follow in my footsteps (or in this case, my legacy). But don't say I didn't warn you...