Q: What is the purpose of this loan application?
Q: How much time does it take to process a loan application?
A: We will contact you within 3 business days, or maybe longer if we're feeling extra bureaucratic today. Don't worry, though, because we have an automated answering machine that will keep you entertained while you wait. Learn more about it!
Q: Do you offer any special loan programs?
A: Oh, yes! We have the "Loan-o-Rama" program for artists and the "Loan-zy" program for people with questionable credit. Read about it! or Read about it! respectively.
Q: What are the interest rates?
A: Ha! You think we're just going to give it away? Our interest rates start at a mere 37.5% and rise to a whopping 50% for our "Loan-o-Rama" program. Don't worry, though, because we'll charge you extra for the pleasure of doing business with us. Learn more about it!