THE SANDWICH GRIEVANCES DEPARTMENT

Case #1234: "THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MAYO ON MY SANDWICH"

Complainant: Bob Johnson

A lengthy investigation has been conducted, and our findings are as follows:

• We have discovered that the deli counter in question did indeed have a jar of mayo.
• However, it was located in the "condiment cabinet" and not in plain sight.
• The complainant, Bob Johnson, was found to be standing directly in front of the jar, yet still managed to complain about the lack of mayo.

Recommendations:

• We recommend that Bob Johnson take a basic course in "Not-Seeing" to improve his observational skills.
• We also suggest that Bob Johnson be required to watch a 3-hour video on "The Importance of Reading Labels" before being allowed to enter the deli again.

Next Steps:

• We will be conducting a follow-up investigation to determine if Bob Johnson has been secretly replacing the mayo with an inferior substitute.
• We will also be keeping an eye on Bob Johnson to ensure that he doesn't try to "accidentally" spill anything on the deli counter again.

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