Request 42: Official Bureaucratic Response

Dear esteemed citizen, we have received your request, and we're pleased to inform you that it has been thoroughly analyzed, debated, and eventually, ignored.

We've determined that your request is not only unnecessary but also a clear threat to the fabric of our carefully crafted bureaucratic process. As such, we're forced to redirect you to our "Request Rebuttal" subpage, where you'll find a comprehensive list of reasons why your request is utterly, completely, and totally unacceptable.

Request Rebuttal: A List of Reasons Why Your Request is a Joke

1. You didn't sign the proper forms.
2. You didn't bring enough donuts.
3. You requested something that's clearly against the laws of physics and logic.
4. You didn't use our approved font, "Comic Sans," in your request.
5. You're just trying to be a troublemaker, aren't you?

For more information, please visit our Request Rebuttal subpage, where you'll find an exhaustive list of reasons why your request is doomed to fail.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try our Alternative Venues subpage, where we'll redirect you to a completely different department with a slightly different set of problems.