Standard Operating Procedures

These are not exactly standard, but we're working with what we got.

Procedural Philosophy

We believe in following established guidelines, but mostly for show.

We're more of a "make it up as we go along" kind of bureaucracy.

The Five-Step Process for Dealing with a Problem

Step 1: Panic.

Step 2: Blame someone else.

Step 3: Call for help.

Step 4: Stare at the wall for an hour.

Step 5: Pretend you meant to do it that way.