YOU'RE A VICTIM OF THE BROOM TAX!

For the crime of overpaying for a broom, you will be subject to:

• Forced viewing of 12 consecutive reruns of the 'Broom Salesperson' reality TV show
• Mandatory attendance at Broom-Oriented Cognitive Behavioral Therapy sessions
• A lifetime supply of cheap, generic brooms with the words 'Made in China' stamped on them

Learn more about Phase 1 of your sentence and the horror that awaits in Phase 2.