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Appendix C: The Unofficial Guide to Not Getting Lost in Bureaucracy
Appendix C: The Unofficial Guide to Not Getting Lost in Bureaucracy
Congratulations! You've made it this far without losing your mind in the depths of our beloved Bureaucracy.
But don't worry, we're not done with you yet. Here's a quick primer on how to navigate our labyrinthine corridors of paperwork and petty tyrants.
Chapter 1: Identifying the Correct Form to Fill Out
Look for the following indicators of a form worth completing:
- Does it have at least 17 pages? If not, it's not worth your time.
- Is it stapled to the wall with a notice that says "Confidential"? That's a bonus.
- Does it require you to sign your name in triplicate? You're in the right place.
Once you've found the correct form, remember:
- Fill it out in triplicate, or at least quadruplicate.
- Use a pen that's at least 10% lead content. Anything less is an insult.
- Don't bother with spell-checking. We won't notice, and even if we do, we'll just shrug.
Chapter 2: The Art of Bureaucratic Sarcasm
Master the ancient art of saying 'yes, sir/madam' with a face that says 'I have a gun pointed at my back.'
- Use a smile that says 'I'm secretly plotting my escape.'
- Maintain eye contact that says 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'
- Practice the art of nodding while your brain is screaming 'What are you even doing with your life?'
And for those who have mastered the art:
Join the Bureaucratic Elite: Bureaucratic Rockstars