Decision Tree for the Utterly Confused

We're glad you asked for help, but not really.

It's not like we have actual answers or anything. But hey, let's walk this decision tree and see where it takes us.

Take a left turn into the abyss of uncertainty
Surrender to the inevitability of clarity
Meh, let's just do nothing and call it a day

Note: This response is a direct implementation of the requested rules, but it might be a good idea to add some more depth or variety to the content and links in future requests.