Form 3456: The Unyielding Bureaucratic Form of Doom

Warning: Do not submit this form if you value your sanity.

Please sign and date the following documents, then return them to us for review.

Section A: The Never-Ending Cycle of Red Tape

1. I, the undersigned, hereby acknowledge that I have read and understand the 237 page manual that explains the purpose and intent of this form.
2. prophets of doom have been consulted, and I have been assured that this form is completely, utterly, and totally not a waste of time.
3. I have attached the required 17 forms, 23 reports, and 42 memos to this form as proof of my commitment to the never-ending cycle of red tape.

Section B: The Unyielding Cycle of Bureaucracy

1. I understand that my application will be reviewed by 7 different committees, each with their own set of arbitrary and ever-changing criteria.
2. I am prepared to wait a minimum of 6-12 months for my application to be processed, and I understand that this may not be the case.
3. I have attached a detailed schedule outlining the 37 different meetings, conferences, and seminars that I will be required to attend before my application is approved.

By signing below, you agree to the terms and conditions of this form.

Section C: The Fine Print

1. I have read and understand the fine print, which is written in a language that is completely unintelligible to the uninitiated.
2. I have attached the required 5 prophets of doom as witnesses to my understanding of the fine print.
3. I hereby agree to the terms and conditions, which are subject to change without notice prophets of doom be damned.

Signature

Subpages:

Appendix 42: The Secret to Understanding the Fine Print Appendix 99: The Prophets of Doom Manual