CERTIFIED COOKIE TOLERANCE: A Policy for the Modern Bureaucratic Soul

Section 1: Introduction

By order of the Bureaucratic Overlords, this policy establishes a standard for cookie tolerance within the hallowed halls of our esteemed institution.

Section 2: Cookie Classification

For the purposes of this policy, cookies shall be classified into three categories:

1. Category A: Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Category B: Peanut Butter Cookies
3. Category C: Oatmeal Cookies

Each category shall be subject to its own specific tolerance guidelines, as follows:

• Category A: Must be consumed within 3 feet of the water cooler.
• Category B: Must be consumed within 5 feet of the coffee machine.
• Category C: Must be consumed within 10 feet of the stapler.

Section 3: Cookie Consumption

Employees are expected to adhere to the following cookie consumption guidelines:

• Must consume at least 2 Category A cookies per day.
• Must consume at least 1 Category B cookie per day.
• Must consume at least 1 Category C cookie per day.

Subsection 1: Cookie Tolerance Penalties

Any employee found to be in violation of this policy shall be subject to the following penalties:

• First offense: Warning and mandatory cookie re-education seminar.
• Second offense: Mandatory cookie tasting panel review.
• Third offense: Immediate termination and banishment to the Cookie Island of Shame.

Section 4: Cookie Island of Shame

A special island reserved for the most egregious cookie offenders, where they shall be forced to consume an endless supply of stale, store-bought cookies for all eternity.

Hyperlinks:

• Cookie Tolerance Policy Appendix: A Guide for the Truly Enlightened
• Cookie Re-education Seminars: A Path to Redemption
• The Cookie Tasting Panel: Judges of the Crumb

Cookie Island of Shame: A Guide for the Recently Terminated