Declaration of the Obvious, 21st Century Edition

Article I, Section 1, Subsection 1:
All citizens of the Republic of Sarcasm are required to wear funny hats to official functions. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Being forced to watch an endless loop of elevator music
• Being subject to spontaneous combustion
• Having their favorite foods replaced with Brussels sprouts

Article II, Section 2, Subsection 2:
All government officials are prohibited from wearing pants to work. Exceptions include:

• Firefighters
• Bureaucrats with a waiver
• Anyone who has been to the gym recently

Appendix 2: Additional Prohibited Articles and Amendments

Appendix 3: Frequently Asked Questions