Chapter 2: Policies

The following policies are subject to change without notice. Or, you know, with notice, but only if it's really important.

Section 1.5: The Coffee Machine

The coffee machine in the break room is not a toy. Do not attempt to use it as a decorative centerpiece or a prop in your latest art project.

• Do not overfill the machine. It will spill and make a mess.
• Do not use the machine as a drying rack for your socks. It will not help.
• Do not stare into its glowing eyes for too long. It may summon an ancient evil.

Section 2.5: The Microwave

The microwave is not a time machine. It will only cook your food faster, not slower.

• Do not nuke your leftovers for 10 minutes. It will be a disaster.
• Do not use it as a makeshift oven for your craft project. It will set off the fire alarm.
• Do not attempt to reenact The Microwave with it. It will not end well.

Remember: these policies are subject to change without notice.

For more information on other important policies, visit:

Danger Zones: Where Not to Stand Near the Coffee Machine

Lost and Found: The Mystery of the Missing Stapler