FORM 3: THE ULTIMATE INSTRUMENT OF SOCIETY CONTROL

This is the most powerful form in all the land. It's so powerful, you'll need a team of highly trained specialists to wield it.

Get instructions on how to use this form

Section 1: Filling out the Form

First, fill out the form with your name, address, and social security number. Don't worry, we'll make sure to shred all your personal info in a safe and secure manner... probably.

See the appendix for a list of acceptable forms of ID See the appendix for our comprehensive list of acceptable reasons for not filling out the form

Section 2: Submitting the Form

Once you've filled out the form, submit it to us and we'll get back to you within 6-12 months. Maybe.

Section 3: What Happens Next

After we receive your form, we'll review it and send it on to the relevant authorities. If they like it, you'll be contacted for further questioning. If they don't like it, you'll be sent a strongly-worded letter.

See the appendix for our comprehensive list of possible outcomes

Section 4: Troubleshooting

Q: What happens if I forget to fill out the form?

A: You'll be forced to fill it out twice, with a 20% penalty for each infraction.

Q: What if I lose my ID?

A: Don't worry, we have a comprehensive list of acceptable excuses. Just click the link below to view it.

See the appendix for our list of acceptable excuses