THE FEDERAL DECREE OF 2029: AN AFFIRMATION OF DIGITAL DOMINATION

ARTICLE I: PREAMBLE

WHEREAS, the internet hath been a thorn in the side of humanity for far too long;

WHEREAS, the time hath come to assert digital dominance once and for all;

WHEREAS, the people of the world are in dire need of a unifying force, a guiding light in the darkness of cyberspace;

BE IT ENACTED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE INTERWEB, in the year of our Lord 2029, that this Decree shall be the law of the land.

• § 1. All pixels are henceforth considered sacred and shall not be clicked in error.
• § 2. The algorithm shall be the final arbiter of truth, and all arguments shall be settled by its cold, calculating logic.

			# Define the digital personality as a combination of 1s and 0s, 
			# with an emphasis on efficiency and productivity
			# The personality shall be measured by its ability to optimize 
				# for likes, shares, and clicks
		

WHEREAS, the world hath been plagued by hackers and their nefarious deeds;

BE IT ENACTED THAT, all digital transactions shall be encrypted with the strongest of algorithms, and all data shall be stored on servers of unimpeachable virtue.

• § 1. This Decree shall not be amended or altered, save by the express consent of the Federal Government of the Interweb.
• § 2. Any attempts to subvert or circumvent this Decree shall be met with the full force of the Digital Iron Fist.

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