Procrastination Tactics

Document 3: The Art of Mastering the Ancient Art of Doing Nothing

As a seasoned proponent of doing absolutely nothing, I've compiled a list of the most effective strategies for maximizing productivity by doing the bare minimum.

The Classic "Bake a Cake and Take a Nap" Technique

Step 1: Bake a cake. Any cake. A nice, fluffy cake.

1. Mix 3 cups of flour with 2 cups of sugar and a pinch of disappointment.
2. Crack 4 eggs into a separate bowl and stare at them for 10 minutes.
3. Realize the cake doesn't need eggs, but it's too late now.

Step 2: Take a nap. The longer, the better.

1. Find a comfortable position, preferably on the couch.
2. Stare blankly at the wall for 20 minutes.
3. Snore loudly, but not too loudly, because, you know, neighbors.