Standard Operating Procedure Addendum: The Official Guide to Not Getting Fired

Effective Immediately, all employees are expected to adhere to the following procedures:

• Arrive at least 5 minutes before your scheduled arrival time.
• Wear matching, pastel-colored scrubs at all times.
• Use the correct number of staples in the stapler (7-9).
• Do not speak to coworkers during meetings. Simply stare at the wall and contemplate the meaning of life.
• When asked to perform a task, respond with a firm "I'm on it, boss!"

Failure to comply with these procedures will result in disciplinary action, up to and including termination.

• Learn about the levels of disciplinary action
• See the revision history of this addendum