By the powers vested in me, I, Bureaucrautus Maximus, shall impart upon you the sacred knowledge of stationery best practices.
1. Always use 8.5 point font. Any smaller is for the faint of heart.
2. Never underestimate the power of a well-placed staple.
3. Invest in a good stapler. It's an investment, really.
4. Don't bother with paperclip etiquette. It's just a bunch of nonsense.
5. Use only the finest, imported, Italian-made pens.
6. A good folder is like a good lawyer: it's always open to negotiations.
7. Always sign with a flourish, never with a squiggle.
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