Response Times: A Bureaucratic Nightmare
Due to our highly inefficient and overly complicated response process, it may take us anywhere from 10 to 30 days to respond to your request.
Please be patient, as our team of highly trained but slightly disorganized clerks will review and process your request in their own good time.
If you need a faster response, we recommend contacting us via carrier pigeon or snail mail. This has been known to speed up the process by approximately 50%.
Current Response Times:
Phone: 20-30 days
Email: 15-25 days
Carrier Pigeon: 3-5 days
Snail Mail: 1-2 weeks
Response Time Graph:
