Bureaucratic Form 42-A: Appendix D

For Official Use Only (But Not Really)

Section D: Mandatory Form for Non-Existent Employees

Page 3 of 10 (or 5, we're not really sure)

Please fill out this form in triplicate, using a pen with a working tip.

Failure to comply will result in INFINITELY MORE PAPERWORK.

Section D-1: Non-Existent Employee Information

• Step 1: Fill out your name
• Step 2: Check the box
• Step 3: Attach a picture of your cat

Section D-2: Non-Existent Employee Benefits

We offer the following benefits to our non-existent employees:

• Free parking in the non-existent lot
• Unlimited use of the non-functional copier
• A complimentary non-existent coffee machine

Section D-3: Non-Existent Employee Code of Conduct

We expect our non-existent employees to:

• Arrive on time (or at least pretend to)
• Use the correct amount of coffee
• Not make fun of our non-existent HR department