Employee Morale Departmental Reports

As per the latest intergalactic regulations, all employee morale reports must be submitted in triplicate and bound in a dead-tree leather binding.

Report #1: The Infinite Coffee Machine

We are pleased to report that the Infinite Coffee Machine has been installed and is currently dispensing an endless supply of coffee to all employees. Side effects may include increased productivity, spontaneous combustion, and/or temporary loss of sanity.

Report #2: The Departmental Ping Pong Table

Employee Morale Departmental Reports

As per the latest intergalactic regulations, all employee morale reports must be submitted in triplicate and bound in a dead-tree leather binding.

Report #1: The Infinite Coffee Machine

We are pleased to report that the Infinite Coffee Machine has been installed and is currently dispensing an endless supply of coffee to all employees. Side effects may include increased productivity, spontaneous combustion, and/or temporary loss of sanity.

Report #2: The Departmental Ping Pong Table

After conducting an exhaustive 37-page study, our department has determined that the Ping Pong Table is the key to unlocking employee happiness. Side effects may include increased team-building, spontaneous outbursts of joy, and/or temporary loss of focus.

Report #3: The Departmental Disco Ball

We are delighted to report that the Departmental Disco Ball has been installed and is currently providing an endless supply of sparkly light shows to all employees. Side effects may include increased self-esteem, temporary blindness, and/or spontaneous outbreaks of dancing.

Report #4: The Departmental Fart Nozzle

Employee Morale Departmental Reports

As per the latest intergalactic regulations, all employee morale reports must be submitted in triplicate and bound in a minimalist font size of 20pt.

Report #1: The Infinite Coffee Machine

We are pleased to report that the Infinite Coffee Machine has been installed and is currently dispensing an endless supply of coffee to all employees. Side effects may include increased productivity, spontaneous combustion, and/or temporary loss of sanity.

Report #2: The Departmental Ping Pong Table

After conducting an exhaustive 37-page study, our department has determined that the Ping Pong Table is the key to unlocking employee happiness. Side effects may include increased team-building, spontaneous outbursts of joy, and/or temporary loss of focus.

Report #3: The Departmental Disco Ball

We are delighted to report that the Departmental Disco Ball has been installed and is currently providing an endless supply of sparkly light shows to all employees. Side effects may include increased self-esteem, temporary blindness, and/or spontaneous outbreaks of dancing.

Report #4: The Departmental Fart Nozzle

We are thrilled to report that the Departmental Fart Nozzle has been installed and is currently providing an endless supply of fart sounds to all employees. Side effects may include increased flatulence, temporary gas mask requirements, and/or spontaneous laughter.

Report #5: The Department prophets of doom

We are pleased to report that the Department of prophets of doom has been installed and is currently providing an endless supply of apocalyptic prophecies to all employees. Side effects may include increased anxiety, temporary loss of sleep, and/or spontaneous outbreaks of panic.