Departmental Reports: Employee Morale - Meeting Minutes

Meeting Minutes: March 1st, 20XX

Present: Bob, Carol, Alice, and 47.2% of all departmental employees.

• Alice: "We're all just here for the free donuts, right?"
• Bob: "Actually, we're here for the soul-sucking meetings that drain the life out of us."
• 47.2% of all employees: *silence*

Action Items:

• Implement more donut breaks.
• Reduce meeting frequency by 30%.
• Replace all fluorescent lighting with lava lamps.

Adjournment: The meeting will reconvene on the 15th of Never.

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