As per the latest directives from the Ministry of Bureaucratic Redundancy, we are pleased to report that the following infrastructure upgrades have been initiated:
Renovation of the East Wing: Phase III
Installation of new fluorescent lights, which will be slightly less efficient than the previous ones
Re-painting of walls with a soothing shade of beige
Replacing the old air conditioning system with a new one that will make it feel like you're breathing through a straw
Upgrade of the West Wing: Phase II
Replacing the old elevators with ones that will occasionally get stuck on the 3rd floor for no apparent reason
Installing a state-of-the-art sound system that will play an endless loop of elevator music to further enhance the experience
Replacing the carpet with a new, slightly more durable material that will still shed like crazy
These upgrades are expected to be completed within the next 2-5 business days, or whenever we get around to it.