Insurance FAQ - Because You're Probably Going to Need It

Q: What is the purpose of insurance?

A: It's like a safety net, but without the safety, and with more forms.

Q: How do I apply for insurance?

A: Fill out Form 27-B/6, and don't forget to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Don't bother asking for help, we have a phone tree for that.

Q: What if I have a pre-existing condition?

A: That's what the Medical Board of Appeal is for. Just don't expect a quick response, we have a phone tree for that too.

Q: Can I get insurance for my pet?

A: Only if your pet has a Policy 345-B/9. Don't bother trying to get a pet that doesn't have a policy, we're not miracle workers.

Q: What if I need help with my insurance claim?