We're glad you're here to troubleshoot with the Bureau of Red Tape Efficiency and Effectiveness (BRT&E)!
However, we need you to identify the problem you're experiencing. Please choose one of the following:
We follow a rigorous process of elimination, where we ask you 12 increasingly absurd questions to pinpoint the source of your issue.
Don't worry, we'll have you back up and running in no time (or maybe 3-5 business days, depending on bureaucratic delays).