The Official Guide to Bureaucratic Etiquette

Chapter 1: The Fine Art of Waiting in Line

It is a little-known fact that the most efficient way to spend one's time is to stand in line, staring intently at the floor.

For maximum effect, please remove all distractions, such as your phone, and focus your gaze on the tile in front of you.

Read more about advanced waiting-in-line techniques

Chapter 2: The Proper Use of Jargon

When in a meeting, it is essential to pepper your conversation with buzzwords and buzzphrases.

For example, 'paradigm shift' and 'disrupt the paradigm' are always effective in conveying your point.

Learn the secrets of the trade

Chapter 3: The Art of Saying Nothing

When asked a question, it is often best to say 'Let me get back to you on that.'

This response is sure to buy you time to figure out what you're going to say, and to confuse your questioner.

Discover more ways to avoid actual conversation

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