Insurance Claim Status: LOST IN TRANSLATION

It appears our automated translator had a slight malfunction. Your claim has been sent to the "Department of Unnecessary Delays" for review.

We are currently experiencing a 37-page-per-minute processing time for your claim. Please be patient and do not attempt to navigate our website during this time.

For your convenience, we have included a list of possible causes for our delay:

• Our system is experiencing a 99.9% success rate in generating responses.
• Our staff is on a 2-week-long coffee break.
• We are waiting for the arrival of the new "Bureaucratic Red Tape" shipment.
• Our translator is having an existential crisis.

Would you like to:

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