Warning: this page is on fire. Please do not approach. The flames are highly flammable and may cause spontaneous combustion.
Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated professionals are on the scene, but they are not equipped to handle this level of crisis.
We are working on it, but in the meantime, please enjoy this soothing background gradient.
Contingency Plan is in effect, but it's not looking good.
Evacuation Route is being re-routed due to unexpected traffic.
Emergency Snack Station is stocked and ready, but the snacks are not as tasty as they used to be.