The Alternative to Regular Butter Techniques

You've heard of the usual buttering techniques, like smearing, dolloping, and drizzling? Yeah, those are so boring. Welcome to the alternative.

Technique 1: The Frenetic Flip

Also known as "buttering with a side of anxiety," this method involves rapidly flipping your butter knife in a frenzy of motion, all while shouting "I'm not a morning person!"

Disclaimer: May not actually produce better-tasting butter.

Technique 2: The Whirligig

This avant-garde method involves using a blender to create a maelstrom of buttery chaos, all while wearing a fedora.