Bored with your mundane, functional life? Do you yearn for something more? Something that screams "I'M A CONNOISEUR OF NOTHINGNESS"?
Look no further! Our Fake Method 3 is the ultimate solution for the idle rich and the marginally employed. With our patented, totally-not-made-by-some-guy-on-the-internet method, you can waste hours upon hours on our carefully crafted, utterly unnecessary products.
Click here to learn more about what makes us tick (or not). Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try Buy Now and Regret It to get started on your journey to financial ruin.
1. Totally unnecessary features. Our products are designed to be as feature-rich as they are useless.
2. Made by someone with a strong background in "art" and "craftsmanship". Our products are hand-crafted by someone who has a strong background in "art" and "craftsmanship", which is just a nice way of saying "we found this guy on Craigslist".
3. Totally not made of actual, functional materials. Don't worry, our products won't be made from actual materials, so you won't have to deal with pesky things like "functionality" and "usefulness".
Prices start at $50, with discounts available for bulk purchases and a 100% chance of buyer's remorse. Click here to see our pricing page and wonder why you even bothered.