Cable Corner

Where the Internet's Most Valued Assets Go to Withers

Speed: The Unattainable Dream

Our cables are the slowest, most unreliable connections you'll ever have the displeasure of experiencing. We specialize in lag, dropped signals, and the occasional 'please wait for 10 minutes while we 'reconfigure our network'. Because who needs speed when you can have existential dread?

Latency Laments: Where Connections Go to Cry

Reliability: Our Middle Name

We're so unreliable, you'll wonder if we even care. Our cables have a 50/50 chance of working on any given Tuesday. Don't quote us on that though, it's not like we'd admit it even if we did.

Intermittent Outages: Where You'll Find Us Most Days