Welcome, fellow caffeine slaves, to the most comprehensive guide on the web to navigating the treacherous terrain of the office coffee machine.
Hazard 1: The Coffee Machine of Doom
The most common hazard of them all: the coffee machine that never seems to dispense coffee. Instead, it dispenses frustration, anxiety, and an existential dread that threatens to consume your very soul.
Learn how to navigate office politics while subsisting on nothing but bitter disappointmentHazard 2: The Caffeine Withdrawal Room
A room where the air is thick with the scent of stale coffee and the sound of desperate sobs. Where coworkers are reduced to mere zombies, shambling about in search of their next fix.
Discover the secret to maintaining a productive career while trapped in a state of constant, crippling addictionHazard 3: The Coffee Snobbery
A phenomenon where individuals develop an irrational preference for coffee that is, by any reasonable standard, completely unpalatable. Where 'gourmet' coffee becomes a justification for one's poor life choices.
Learn the ancient art of creating intricate designs on the surface of your coffee using nothing but foam and a dash of pretentiousness