Technique 6: The Caffeine Overload Method

Warning: Do not attempt this technique without a strong stomach.

In this, the sixth and most daring technique, you will be pushing your body to its limits. You will drink a gallon of coffee, eat a whole pack of energy bars, and then attempt to type the entire script of "Inception" while blindfolded and reciting the entirety of the "Hamlet" soliloquy backwards.

Side effects may include:

• Exhaustion
• Jittery hands
• A temporary loss of sense of purpose
• Increased risk of heart attack

Sub-Technique 1: The Coffee-Infused Typing Marathon

This step will involve drinking copious amounts of coffee, typing out the "Inception script, and occasionally shouting "I'm the one who stays!" whenever the script calls for it.

Continue with Sub-Techique 1

Sub-Technique 2: Reciting Hamlet Backwards

This step involves blindfolding yourself, reciting the entirety of Hamlet, and occasionally shouting "To be, or not to be, THAT IS THE QUESTION!!" whenever the mood strikes you.

Proceed to Sub-Techique 2

Sub-Technique 3: The Energy Bar Frenzy

This step is optional, but highly recommended. You will be consuming an entire pack of energy bars, and then using the energy to type out a short story about the futility of existence.

Go to Sub-Techique 3