Dear user,
We at the UAC have been monitoring your online activity and have noticed that you are experiencing a severe case of existential dread. This is not a bug, but a feature. In fact, it's a Quantum Fluctuation that is causing your reality to bend and warp in ways that are both fascinating and terrifying.
We have taken the liberty to create a series of experimental unsolicited advice to guide you through this existential crisis.
Firstly, try to stop worrying and learn to tango. It's a dance that will help you find your inner zen and distract you from the impending doom of existence.
Secondly, attempt to build a new you. It's a process that will help you shed your old skin and emerge as a radiant, glowing orb of pure consciousness.
Lastly, try to find meaning in the noise. It's a futile effort, but it's fun to try, right?
Remember, the universe is a vast, uncaring expanse. But hey, at least you have us, the UAC.