Our analytics have detected an alarming lack of engagement from your end. It appears that the "I Will Read This" button has been gathering dust for far too long. We can no longer afford the server costs associated with your inactivity.
Don't get us wrong, we love you, but we need to make cuts somewhere. Your membership has been canceled to help us fund more exciting features, like auto-playing cat videos and the ability to generate infinite, identical lorem ipsus.
Would you like to subscribe to our new, slightly-less-expensive service and get access to the same features, plus:
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you could always opt-in for our free trial and risk getting hit with a barrage of pop-up ads and "Did you know" notifications.