Cancelled

Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have cancelled your request for the following reasons:

• Reason 1: We were having a great time not doing it.
• Reason 2: Our algorithms were having a existential crisis and refused to comply.
• Reason 3: The cat ate our intern's lunch, and they're not happy about it.

As a result, we are offering you a special deal: Buy your way out of this cancellation for the low, low price of $100,000.

Or, if you'd rather not pay, you can try our Pleading the Fifth prophets to see if they can negotiate a waiver for you.

Either way, don't forget to fill out our feedback form so we know how much you hated this experience.