Catnip Catastrophe: A Guide to Catnip Care and Handling

Warning: Catnip can be a highly addictive and potentially destructive substance. Prolonged exposure may lead to catatonia, loss of motor skills, and an intense desire to stare at walls.

Step 1: Obtain Catnip

Learn how to cultivate your own catnip or purchase it from a reputable dealer

Be aware of the risks associated with catnip handling, including but not limited to: catnip poisoning, catnip-induced psychosis, and spontaneous combustion

Understand the dangers of catnip tolerance and how to avoid it

Step 2: Handle Catnip with Care

Get the best catnip handling tips from experienced catnip users

Invest in the latest catnip safety gear, including catnip-proof gloves and catnip-resistant face masks

Find help for catnip emergencies, including catnip-induced comas and catnip-fueled rampages