Cautious Consumption Guidelines

Warning: consuming too much caffeine can lead to spontaneous combustion. Do not attempt this.

Also, don't eat the cat. They're not snacks.

Remember, you are not a professional. Do not attempt to fix your own toilet. Call a plumber.

And for the love of all that is holy, do not try to reheat a cold pizza in the washing machine. Just don't.

When to Call a Plumber (and when not to) Caffeine Safety Risks: Avoiding Spontaneous Combustion I'm Not Sure About This, But It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time