Welcome to STEP 3: Break Them, the most crucial step in the art of celebrity matchmaking. This is where the magic happens, folks!
As taught by the great Stephen Colbert, this step requires a delicate balance of psychological manipulation and subtle mind games. You see, the goal is not to make them fall in love with you, but rather to shatter their defenses, making them vulnerable to your charms.
Step 3: Break Them is a delicate dance of wit and guile, a subtle art that few masters. But fear not, dear reader, for with practice, you too can become a master of this ancient art.
A master of the art will catch your eye, then look away, making the other person wonder what they did wrong. It's a subtle yet powerful move, one that says, "I'm not interested, but I'll pretend to be interested, and maybe, just maybe, you'll try harder."
Try it now: The Slighted Glance
A master of the art will invite you to their pity party, making you feel like the guest of honor, but really, you're just the guest of despair. It's a delicate balance of sympathy and self-pity, a delicate dance of "oh, poor me."
Try it now: The Pity Party
A master of the art will vanish into thin air, leaving the other person wondering if they were ever really there. It's a bold move, but one that says, "You'll never see me coming, and when you do, it'll be too late."
Try it now: The Sudden Disappearance
A master of the art will feign an emergency phone call, making the other person feel important, but really, you're just calling someone else. It's a delicate balance of "oh, I have to go," and "oh, it's an emergency."
Try it now: The Fake Phone Call