As the Supreme Ruler of This Fictitious Corporation, I am writing to inform you of some very important things.
1. Our profits are up, up, UP! Like, seriously, we're printing money over here.
2. Our employees are happy, happy, HAPPY! We have a foosball table in the break room, and it's always stocked with beer.
3. Our products are the best, the greatest, the most fantastic you'll ever lay eyes on! (Just ask our lawyers, they'll tell you it's true.)
So, that's the latest from us. Don't forget to buy our stock, or you'll be left in the dust. Or, you know, just don't. We really don't care.