Key Accomplishments
Quantifiable Success Metrics
- Revenue: $10,000,000,000
- Employee Satisfaction: 99%
- Caffeine Consumption: 500 cups of coffee per day
- Mental Health: Excellent (according to me)
Future Plans
We plan to continue our streak of unbridled success by:
- Opening more stores
- Increasing employee caffeine consumption by 10%
- Developing more innovative ways to spend company funds on personal luxuries