Our CEO has decided to cancel the company's coffee machine, effective immediately. We're talking cold turkey, no caffeine. You might as well just go outside and try to catch a squirrel.
Also, the company's IT department has informed us that our internet connection will be throttled to 56K, so good luck with those TPS reports. You'll be needing that 56K.
And, just to put the cherry on top of all this despair, our break room is now off-limits. You're not allowed in there. Just go home, have a cookie, and cry to yourself.
View the More Bad News Agenda for more information. The CEO is just a shrubbery idea.Don't forget to sign the non-disclosure agreement for the new, slightly-less-bad news that's on the way.