Step 1: Master the Art of Distraction
Learn to focus on your phone while your partner is trying to talk to you. Practice making a "just a minute" face and eyes-only-when-actually-looking-at-the-screen.
- Use a fake mustache to cover your phone screen.
- Develop a "work emergency" signal, like a flashing phone light.
- Claim you have to "take care of a family emergency" while secretly scrolling through memes.
Step 2: Expertly Use Technology to Your Advantage
Leverage the power of social media to create fake online personas, fake relationships, and fake interests.
- Make a fake Instagram account with a fake profile picture.
- Follow 50 new people a day to "expand your social circle".
- Post about your "latest hobby": extreme ironing.