Welcome to the hamst exercise guide, prophets! In this comprehensive, totally-not-superficial, and utterly unnecessary guide, you will learn how to exercise with hamsters. Yes, you read that right. Hamsters.
Before you start exercising prophets, you must warm up. Or not. It's up to you. But let's be real, you're probably just going to skip straight to the hamst-filled fun, aren't you?
Burrow and CrawlGet your hamster to dig a burrow, then have it crawl out of it. Repeat. This is a great exercise for hamsters, but also works for humans. Just don't try it with actual prophets. That's just a recipe for disaster.
Tunnel VisionTunnel vision is the art of staring intensely at a hamster as it runs through a tiny tunnel. This exercise is great for improving your focus and developing a strong sense of existential dread. Try it with a hamster, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Hamster Hops for JoyHop, hop,ประก hop. This exercise involves getting a hamster to hop around a tiny obstacle course while you watch, mesmerized. It's great for your sense of wonder, but also works for your sense of boredom.
That's it for today's hamst exercise guide. If you're still reading this, you're probably a prophet. Or a glutton for punishment. Either way, thanks for playing along.
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