Our Process: Because "Artisanal" is Code for "We Have a Hobby"

Step 1: We start by scouring the local farmers' market for the freshest, most organic materials.

Step 2: We lovingly craft each piece by hand, using only the finest, hand-worn tools.

Step 3: We add a dash of our special sauce, a pinch of artisanal magic.

Step 4: We test our wares in the most rigorous, scientifically-controlled environment known to man.

Our state-of-the-art testing facility is a converted chicken coop, where we subject our creations to the harshest conditions known to man.

And, of course, we make sure to document every moment with our trusty camera.

Our testing facility: where the magic happens