Step 8: The Art of Cheesy Self-Care for the Ambitious

By now, you've mastered the fundamentals: excessive caffeine consumption, compulsive social media scrolling, and the ability to recite the entire script of your favorite TV show from memory. But let's be real, being a functioning member of society is hard. That's why you need the following 8 steps to achieve true cheesy self-care:

• Step 8: Prioritize your cat's Instagram account over your own
• Step 7: Develop a habit of giving yourself affirmations while standing in front of a mirror, but only if you're wearing a fedora
• Step 6: Create a budget that accounts for the cost of therapy, wine, and artisanal cheese plates
• Step 5: Learn to harness the power of procrastination by declaring your work "done" and taking a 3-hour nap
• Step 4: Establish clear boundaries with your coworkers by setting up a cardboard box around your desk
• Step 3: Practice self-regulation by limiting your social media use to only 4 hours a day, and only checking your ex's new profile picture once
• Step 2: Cultivate self-awareness by spending 30 minutes each morning reciting the entirety of your high school graduation speech from memory
• Step 1: Accept that you'll never truly be a functioning member of society, but you can at least have a nice cup of tea while pretending to be one

And that's it! With these 8 steps, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of cheesy self-care. Don't forget to bookmark this page for future reference, or just use the URL as a bookmark in your browser. Happy self-care-ing!

Return to Cheesy Investments 101