Warning: Do not attempt to use these batteries in any actual device. They are purely theoretical and for entertainment purposes only.
Cellular structure: Randomly arranged, glowing, sentient, jellyfish-like tendrils
Energy output: Approximately 400 Wh (Watt-hours) per minute
Self-regeneration time: Approximately 2-5 minutes per hour
Side effects: May induce spontaneous combustion, temporary blindness, or existential dread in users
Safety ProtocolsCellular structure: Quicksand-filled, sentient, amoeba-like globes
Energy output: Approximately 200 Wh (Watt-hours) per minute
Self-regeneration time: Approximately 1-2 minutes per hour
Side effects: May cause users to involuntarily join a 3-hour long conversation about the meaning of life
Philosophical Implications