Fixing the Wheel: A Guide

Techniques for those who can't even fix a bike

Step 1: Identify the problem - Is your wheel round? No, seriously, is it? Because it's definitely not round.

Step 2: Locate the source of the problem. Is it the wheel? The axle? The spokes? Or is it just your general ineptness?

Step 3: Apply the solution. This is where things get really tricky. Will you need WD-40? A hammer? A prayer? Only time will tell.

Step 4: Test and refine. Will your solution work? Will it not work? Will you have set off a chain reaction of events that will bring about the downfall of society? Only one way to find out.