According to our completely-not-made-up sources, everything in the universe is circular. Yes, you, the reader, are also a circle. Don't worry, it's a nice circle.
Proponents of this theory claim that even the straight lines are actually just curved lines we're too blind to see. They point to the circular shapes of the moon, the circular motion of the Earth around the sun, and the circularity of the donut holes at your local coffee shop as evidence.
Of course, this theory is completely and utterly made up, but it's still a great excuse to get out of work and go to the donut shop for a snack.